‘You’re still not married?’

‘Tell me, how old are you now?’

‘Why is it that a great girl like you can’t find a shidduch?’

Ask me that. That’s fine. And really, it’s so incredibly kind of you to worry about me. And I ask myself the same things. I ask G-d the same things. But after that question, do me a favor.

Ask me something else.

Ask me about my education. My travels. My hobbies. Ask me about my living situation. My friends. My beliefs.

Ask me about my favorite memory of rain or stars or books.

Ask me something else.

Because I am more than the absence of a committed relationship and a (hopefully) shorter last name.

I am more.

‘You should be blessed to come back here with your husband.’

‘God should bless you to find your zivug (match) soon!’

‘May the next time I see you be when you’re stringing two children along.’

Bless me with that. That’s fine. And really, it’s so incredibly kind of you to think of me. And I pray for those exact things as well. Every week, I turn to G-d with identical requests. But after that blessing, do me a favor.

Bless me with something else.

Bless me with health. With income. With peace of mind. Bless me with purpose. With fulfillment. With a sense of mission.

Bless me that I should laugh at least 4 times a day.

Bless me with something else.

Because I’m trying to build something despite the fact that I lack a walking partner and a father for the children I don’t yet have, yet have already named.

I am building something, too. Something real. Something worthy.

And I know I’m single. I’m quite aware of the fact. (Really, I am).

I notice when I sit at a table with my married siblings and everyone slowly melts off into couples. I sense when I hang out with married friends, and they want to be alone.

And then there’s me… who’s actually alone.

And I promise you this – I’m doing all that I can to amend the situation.

Many of us singles are.

Because although being young and free and well-traveled is amazing… at a certain point – you kinda get ready to stop reading Lonely Planet books and start reading the mood of a person you care about. You realize that although following the wind is thrilling, you might want to plant some roots.

But, even with all of those feelings (all the feels!), us single people also really enjoy our lives. And even though we’re alone, We’re not lonely. We’re busy.

We’re in the prossess of building something valuable. We’ve put forth effort to develop our interests, our educations. We’ve utilized our time to create friendships. Communities. Homes.

Our lives are not on pause. They are definitely lived on ‘play’.

And yes, we are humans lacking spouses.’ So feel free to bring up our absent partners in crime. After all, elephants in rooms love being acknowledged.

And again, I’ll be the first to hold a huge sign proclaiming, ‘Suggestions welcome. Questions welcome. Blessings welcome.’

Because Married people are Married and Single people are Single. And that’s ok. Those are facts.

But then, let’s go further. Let’s go deeper. Let’s talk about the way the dust dances in the light. Let’s talk about where that scar on my leg comes from. Let’s talk about where I hope to be in the future

Because, regardless of marital state, both you and I are heading somewhere absolutely glorious.

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